Beat me alive
by faii-chan
Summary: Yuki finally realises how little he knows about his lover when Shu is admitted to the hospital after a marriage proposal gone wrong and a little domestic abuse… Shu suffers and Yuki is torn. Find out what happens to this seemingly perfect couple… YxS


_A/N: I don't own Gravitation. Please read and review!_

**Beat me alive**

_Slap!_ That was the sound that echoed around the apartment on one cold winter's night. Yuki Eiri was staring at his 'lover' Shuichi Shindou with anger blazing in his eyes. He had his hand raised in the air but slowly put it down by his side as the anger that surged through his body left and he realised what he had just done. He watched as Shuichi raised a hand to his now swollen right cheek and massaged it gently. Yuki's eyes widened considerably as he saw the tears cascade silently down the pink haired boy's cheeks. He saw the hurt and pain in his so called lover's eyes and he regretted his actions immensely.

Yuki turned to look at the ring that was on the floor which had been the cause for all of this. He felt anger course through his body once again and he looked at Shuichi who looked up at him in fear. Poor bruised Shuichi began to fear for his life so he turned and scrambled to the door. When he got there, he flung it open and rushed down the stairs out in to the biting wind that cut at his pale but disfigured skin. Yuki stared at the spot where his pink haired brat had been and thought back to the look of fear that had been in his eyes. Then he thought back to what Shuichi had been wearing! He was only wearing a tank top and shorts; he didn't even take his shoes! Something was bound to happen to the young boy if he wasn't careful.

He picked up the ring and shoved it into his pocket, grabbed his coat and a blanket from the couch and quickly put his shoes on. He rushed in to his car and rushed around looking for Shuichi. He went everywhere; Hiro's home, the park, Suguru's home, K's home, Sakano's home, the amusement park, the shops, the bars, everywhere but he found not a single trace of Shuichi. He returned home and sprawled over the couch thinking back to all the other times he hit Shuichi and beat him. The events that lead up to this pointed the blame at Yuki as well.

_Flashback_

"Tadaima Yuki!" Shuichi had come home as usual and had gone straight for Yuki's office after taking off his shoes, to tell Yuki about his day. Meanwhile, Yuki paid no attention and continued to type up his novel. Shuichi suddenly swivelled Yuki's chair around after a while and got down on one knee. He asked Yuki to marry him but Yuki had said no in the coldest voice possible. Yuki had been drinking that night, a lot. He had a killer headache but he had a deadline looming over his head and had to get it done or would be dropped by his publishers.

He didn't register what Shuichi had said because of his headache but in truth, he loved Shuichi, he just couldn't voice it. Shuichi persisted by asking why Yuki wouldn't marry him so Yuki got up to get a cup of coffee. As he stood waiting for the water to boil, Shuichi continued to ask why. Yuki got angry; he became aggressive and lashed out at Shuichi, like he had in the past, causing Shu to drop the ring in surprise. That was when Yuki did the most dreadful thing and slapped Shuichi.

_End Flashback_

Yuki lay back on the couch and hugged Shuichi's teddy bear to his chest realising how much wrong he'd done to Shuichi and how much love he really did hold for the singer. He heard the door to the apartment open then close as quietly as possible. He sat up immediately and brushed away the tears that had made their way down his cheeks. He looked at the door to see Tohma watching him.

"Eiri-San! I just dropped by to ask what was going on because it isn't everyday that the lead singer of my top band hands in his resignation notice." Tohma told him subtly after he had gotten over the sympathy he held for the writer. Tohma continued, "I also got word from K that Shu had left a note to the rest of his band that he was sorry and if they ever needed him in the future to look for him in England." Yuki looked at him, shock evident on his face as he dropped Shuichi's teddy.

He got over his shock as he realised just what that meant and what had to be done so he put on his shoes, grabbed the blanket and his coat and went down to his car pulling Tohma by his sleeve. As soon as they were both situated in the car and had their seat belts on, Yuki put his foot on the gas and sped off to the airport breaking several speed limits along the way. Along the way, Yuki continually muttered to himself causing Tohma to raise an eyebrow in his direction before focusing on the sky through the windshield.

Once they got to the airport, Yuki slammed his foot on the brakes and rushed out with the blanket. He found Shuichi curled up in a secluded corner waiting for his flight, shivering in his scarce attire. Yuki noticed there was something red dripping from between his clenched fingers. Yuki rushed over to him and wrapped the blanket around him before pulling him into a crushing but hopefully warming hug. Shuichi struggled at first but then coughed up copious amounts of blood before going limp in the novelist's arms. Pulling back, Yuki found that his lover was indeed unconscious...

At the hospital, Yuki was pacing back and forth in anxiety for his lover. According to the doctor, the bruising on his body had caused some internal bleeding and he would probably not only have physical problems but mental problems too. He was worried and had absent-mindedly started to bite on his lower lip instead of smoking as he knew Shuichi needed him so he couldn't be put in hospital from lung cancer. One by one, Shuichi's friends came. Hiro, then Suguru followed by K, Sakano, Ryuichi, Noriko and Tatsuha. Yuki asked Hiro, Shuichi's best friend, why his family hadn't been called. What he heard was not what he expected.

"Shuichi's family were murdered in front of him, about a year after you and he became lovers. That includes Maiko. Now he has no family. We were talking about family the other day and said that he'd like to start a family or become part of one. I have no idea what he meant though. Normally when we talk about family, he bursts in to tears this time he just acted as if it didn't faze him anymore. I'm proud of him but what drove him to all this and where did the bruises come from?" Hiro explained. Yuki sat across from Hiro and put his head in his hands. He mumbled something inaudibly that of course no one heard. Hiro shook his shoulder gently and when Yuki looked up he saw what Hiro was pointing at. Shuichi was walking towards them as if nothing had happened!

Everyone looked at him with wide eyes but Yuki was the only one who got up and embraced Shuichi. A doctor rushed up behind Shuichi and pulled him away from Yuki. The doctor in question sent Shuichi off with a nurse before turning to Yuki.  
"Are you Yuki Eiri-San?" the doctor asked. Yuki nodded, unable to speak due to the shock of having a doctor pull his lover away from him.

"I am Doctor Kawashima, I am going to have to ask you some questions as you are his lover, I believe and he currently has no family. If you'd like to step this way." The doctor said in a clipped business like tone. Yuki nodded and followed mutely behind the doctor who began to walk towards his office. Once inside, Yuki sat down opposite the doctor and began to fear for his Shuichi's health.

"First of all, I know this is hard for you but I must tell you that it is even harder for Shuichi-San. He is going to need you more than ever and according to his boss, you are not likely to stay in the country when you find out what is wrong. I must ask you now, will you stay in the country and look after Shuichi Shindou as this hospital instructs?" Doctor Kawashima asked in a brisk manner. Yuki's head snapped up at the mention of Seguchi and he shook with barely contained anger as he thought of what Tohma had said.  
"I will stay in the country for Shuichi; he is my lover after all. I don't care what's wrong with him, I'll help him heal so he becomes back to the normal Shuichi that I know and love." Yuki replied through clenched teeth although the doctor could sense the affection.

Taking a deep breath the doctor began, his voice laced with sympathy and care, "Shuichi has suffered from terrible bruises that have caused internal bleeding. I don't need to know how he got the bruises but I must warn that if he gets anymore, the internal bleeding will start again and there will be nothing that anybody can do to save him.

Also, he is suffering from three major mental illnesses that have to be treated with care otherwise it could drive him to self harm or suicide. He is suffering from nightmare disorder, panic disorder and post traumatic stress disorder. I have been told that you know what PTSD is so I won't need to tell you what it is. We will give him medication for it and you need to get him to talk about it and help him open up." Yuki looked at the doctor in horror but nodded grimly as he knew what had to be done. He couldn't believe that his Shu had PTSD like him.

The doctor continued, "Nightmare disorder is basically where the person has frequent nightmares that often show himself or others that he cares about in jeopardizing or threatening situations. You need to help him with that by getting him to talk about them, soothing him back to sleep, sleeping next to him and relieving any kind of stress on him during the day or when he is not asleep.

He also has panic disorder which is where the person suffers from severe panic attacks due to anxiety, this can be treated by giving him medication, you also need to hold him and help him ride out his panic attacks and get him to talk. That is the main thing, he needs to talk otherwise the results could be disastrous. If you ever need help then please do contact me or get a friend to help. You may take him today and I will give you the medication and a list of things to do if something happens.

Also, he is not to return to work till he is better but he may do some singing at home with the band if he wants, no lyric writing though. He is to come back once a week for a check up and I will be here to perform them so he feels comfortable." Yuki sighed and nodded at the doctor. He went out to tell the rest of the gang and Shuichi was free to go home.

So all was well, well almost. Yuki became kinder and helped Shuichi get better and soon enough he managed to control his mental illnesses not get rid of them, just control them. When Shuichi became better, Yuki asked Shu to marry him at Bad luck's first concert in two years and they lived happily ever after or did they?

_A/N: Read and review please! The sequel that some people asked for is up; it is called Beat me alive again…_


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